What's Wrong With You?

What’s wrong with you? 
When we ask this question, are we really look for a justification from the other person or are we caustically pointing out that they aren’t like us?  In all honesty, I think this is more of a declaration than a question – it  probably should be interpreted, “There is something wrong with you!”.  This seems to be the shorthand version of “How can you believe that what you are saying, doing or thinking has any credence?  You, obviously, are doing, saying or believing in a way that does not meet my approval, so you must be wrong!”.  How many people who have been confronted with this simply-worded statement have walked away from relationships?  How many have quit jobs, organizations, churches or given up on marriages?  How many have been inundated with this accusation and been emotionally scarred? 
Before we move forward with our discussion, we should understand that there are some things that are inherently wrong.  Those actions, thoughts or beliefs that are in conflict with God’s precisely worded message are in error and must be changed before someone can return to a righteous relationship with Him.  Now, having said that, we need to make two points:
First, this accusatory statement – even if spoken to someone in error – is probably going to do more harm than good.  We can use the “correct words” and still do it in the wrong way.  The wise man of the Old Testament reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1).  This statement (which is both accusatory and curt) will most likely shut down any future communication.  Even if we were looking for a rational explanation (which probably isn’t what we are wanting) we probably have driven a wedge between ourselves and the hearer.
Second, this declarative statement seems to point toward a difference which may or may not be all that important.  As we already mentioned, there are some things that are in direct conflict with God’s ways, but there are many more that are merely matters of opinion.  There is room for disagreement in many issues.  Whether based on different perspectives, understanding, or responsibilities we can generally disagree on things and still be pleasing to God and maintain an amiable relationship with our fellow man.  The New Testament is full of the acknowledgements of differences, but it is unwavering in advocating unity and love!   As Paul prepares for his well-known passage on unity he reminds Christians, “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Philippians 4:1-3)
Are we willing look for what is right with each other?  If so, we will create a more powerful alliance to deal with the evil in the world.

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